Bother

Haven't smoked in 4 days. That's something to be proud of I guess. Why do I even bother? No one reads this. I don't know. I guess it's good for me to get stuff off my chest.

Walking.

As I walked through the mall today listening to Mushroomhead I started to get pissed off for no reason. I hated everything and everyone around me. I sat and watched people walk by with their odd quirks and habits and I realized that humanity as a whole is worthless. I don't want to live in this world anymore but I refuse to take the cowards way out..

End.

I want everything to end. I want nothing to exist. Not me. Not you. Nothing. I want to be 6 feet underground. Maybe then I'll be at peace..

  The cigarettes kill him but he doesn't care anymore, why should he? He understands people are worried about him and that he has friends and is loved, but it doesn't matter anymore. He's shutdown. Though lately, the ice in his heart has slowly been melted. Maybe, one day, he will be normal. Maybe someday soon he'll be able to truly care about people.

April 1st, 1993
    At this point in time, the young boy realized his life would be
filled with strife and pain. He was destined to be looked at as an
outsider and a loner, left alone to rot

March 13th, 2005
        He was sick of being looked at as a failure, like he was going
nowhere with his life. He screamed at the gods in vain, begging to know
what he did to deserve this fate.

January 24th, 2008
    He's sick of life. He wants nothing more then to take the cowards
way out, to leave this world. He wondered if there was really life after
death. He decided he would find out...

January 25th, 2008
    His plans have been discovered. He cant complete them now. People
say they care and that he's important. But where was this Love his whole
life?...

May 1st, 2008
    Things are starting to look better. The young teenager is in a
very involved relationship and doing better in school. Maybe he's not as
much of a screw up as he thought..

May 1st, 2009
    He's raging and panicing. He's never known this level of pain
before. He's screaming at the sky as he digs the razor into his arm! He's
screaming "Kill Me! Please kill me! There's nothing left!". His grades
had taken a downward turn and his girlfriend, the one person he truly
loved, left him.

May 3rd, 2009
    The pain became to much for him to handle, so he found a way out.
As he lit the bowl and inhaled, he felt better. In fact, he felt the best
he had ever felt in his whole life. He did'nt care about anything
anymore. He realized all the bullshit doesnt matter anymore.

October 24th, 2010
    Things were looking up for him. He had a group of friends and was
smoking regularly. But then it all came crashing down. He was arrested and
thrown in jail...

October 28th, 2010
    Not having it is killing him. He can't handle this anymore. He's
out of cigarettes and money and can't smoke. He's getting in arguments
all the time, its just to much for him....